When this aging stops, I’m so darn certain I’m headed to Heaven. Now I need to make a list of what is there waiting for me. It’s got to be good, or it wouldn’t be called Heaven, right?
So this is my Heaven list:
- Caramel Dilly Bars must be available at all hours of the day.
- My lovely Mother will be present, but she will have an inability to speak to me, or anybody for that matter.
- My high school sophomore Spanish teacher, Ms. Klectnor, must laugh at all of Tim McCougah’s and my stupid jokes. She must fail other students who do not laugh.
- Apples, my frog, will be everywhere, like he is omnipresent.
- I make an eagle on the toughest hole at Eagle Valley Golf Club. Yes, throngs of fans are attempting to get a glimpse at me through those strange periscopes.
Arrogance doesn’t exist in Heaven.
Or does it?