Believe me. I’m a 34.
So here’s the deal. For decades, I’ve been told to buy a belt size one inch bigger than my waist size. With my stomach sucked in, I’m a legitimate 33-inch waist with all my pants. Based on this knowledge, I just bought a 34-inch brown belt and a 34-inch black belt.
Strangely enough, when I put on my brown belt, I can barely get to the first hole. It causes little waves of flesh cascading over the stingy belt. It almost hurts. Not to mention, it’s damaging to my fragile psyche.
When I wear my black belt, I need to use the final hole and, even then, I can put my middle and index finger between my pants and my stomach. It’s not like my pants are going to fall down, but there is no restrictive girdle effect from my new black belt.
I’m starting to wear only my black pants, coordinated with my beautiful black belt. I feel svelte. I’m confident, fit and attractive.
I haven’t taken a brown pair of pants out of my closet since I bought my new belts. My brown belt has lost its luster. I don’t need to feel the sting of its not-so-subtle message (“Don, you are soft and pudgy”).
Final tip: Only buy black belts.