Is there anyone who really believes Saint Peter will be at the pearly gates to quiz us on whether we deserve to enter?
I have only known two people who bought this whole package.
One was my mother. She had taken a course called “elocution” in high school. In her final year on earth, while living with Sherry and me, I would overhear her practicing her pitch to Saint Peter in her bedroom closet. Wow, she still had what it takes. My guess is, those gates would have flown wide open for Irene.
Augie, my clumsy guardian angel, is the other believer. Augie claims to have a personal relationship with Saint Peter and even takes his place at the gate during Peter’s bathroom breaks.
Recently, while I was about to fall asleep, Augie told me a secret. “Don, Peter is much shorter than people imagine and he’s very sensitive about it. Be careful.”
Now, I think all of this stuff is a bunch of hooey. However, just in case I’ve been practicing my elocution by saying, “Saint Peter, I see why people have always ‘looked up’ to you.”