I’m an Olympian competing in a newly sanctioned sport: aging well.
My secret is refiguring the scoring methodology.
Actually, until I took charge, I wasn’t doing so hot. My doctor held up the number 6 (based on my darn blood pressure readings). My accountant dropped me to a 4 (late tax return in 2020). My best friend gave me 7.5 (a bit disappointing after all I’ve done for him). My wife… oh, let’s forget about that score. In contrast, the Chinese competitor averaged an 8, the Australian octogenarian received an 8.5 and the upstart old man from Namibia led the field with a 9.
I rushed over to the scoring table and shredded all the judges’ signs.
When it comes to an aging competition, I believe the only number that really counts is the one you give yourself. I’ve given myself a perfect 10.
Now, can someone help me find the winner’s podium?