I bought a tuxedo last week.
I couldn’t find the old one I wore 23 years ago. It wasn’t overused. I only had it on once for two hours. No one encouraged me to wear it again until a committee of our employees chose to have a formal holiday party last Saturday at a fancy night spot.
I went to Men’s Wearhouse, where I learned buying a tuxedo does not cost much more than renting one for a single evening. I’m a smart shopper. I was fitted for a traditional black tuxedo with all the stuff that makes it look fancy: a ruffled white shirt with little silver bolts rather than buttons, a cummerbund, a black bow tie, cufflinks and a few other things I couldn’t figure out. Best of all, I received a free, fancy black bag to protect my purchase going home.
With considerable assistance from Sherry, I looked pretty darn sharp for the party. Two people even told me so. They both had been drinking cocktails.
Later that night, I retired my tuxedo in the black bag to save it for my next big night out.
Bookies in Las Vegas are laying odds on the number of times my tuxedo will find its way out of the bag.
Smart money is going for the under.