One of the many wonderful things about aging is we can make a big ruckus about some tiny thing and no one pays any attention.
Naturally, that brings me to why aspirin companies put big balls of cotton into little bottles of low-dose aspirin. My hunch is a 27-year-old Harvard MBA, who is still blaming his mom and dad for being late picking him up from soccer practice, wants revenge. First, he designs a cap that is challenging to remove, even if you don’t have a smidgen of arthritis in your hands.
Next, he creates a silver aluminum seal. He goads us with a tiny tab that even Tinker Bell could not grasp to pull open the covering. I use a ballpoint pen and jam it through the barrier, leaving rough edges all around the top of the bottle.
Oh yeah, Harvard boy isn’t done yet. That’s when he sticks a huge cotton ball that the pills can hide under. I purchase baby tweezers and attempt to pull the cotton out of the bottle. I am not a surgeon. The tweezers only capture little puffs of cotton at a time. It’s a big job.
Alas, with my blood pressure soaring over 170, I now can shake out one aspirin to save me from having another heart attack.
That is my big ruckus of the day. Is anyone paying attention?
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