Just when things couldn’t get more frustrating this morning, Augie, my clumsy guardian angel, shows up. He’s weird enough looking already, but now he has on this freaky mask he claims was made in heaven.
Usually, Augie is always patting me on the back – like a high school football coach to his quarterback. Today, I immediately remind Augie of the social distancing rule.
So I’m walking around my kitchen fixing scrambled eggs, and Augie is tagging six feet behind me.
Augie’s masked voice sounds like Darth Vader as he says, “Don, I’m here to make sure you don’t die from the coronavirus. Saint Peter isn’t ready for you yet. There’s a huge line at the gate of older folks worldwide. It’s overloading our system.”
“Augie, why are you focusing your attention on me?”
HIs reply is muffled. “Your long list of complicated sins will require considerable time to deliberate.”
“Thanks for the emotional boost, Augie. Fly away. I’ve got to go wash my hands.”