I’m going to make a mint with my new book. I haven’t started it yet, but I know the market is begging for my wisdom. The name of my book will be: Simple Recipes for Lazy Old Men. I discovered the opportunity after I recently attempted to do my share around the …
There’s a friend of mine who doesn’t talk much. That suits me fine, because I do. Willie is my age, mid-70s, and has endured a challenging stretch of major medical problems. In a group of close friends, Willie rarely shares about his hospital stays, his surgeries and …
When can I earn the right to be called an old guy? That magic age keeps creeping up higher and higher. Back in high school, I thought my parents were pretty darn old. Why else would they be watching “The Lawrence Welk Show”? My mind changed when I approached 40 and …
I’m too old to have this many pairs of pants. I counted them yesterday because my closet seemed to be getting smaller. Not including jeans, I had 19 slacks of various colors, fits and styles. Here are the facts: My slacks came from China, Venezuela, India, Turkey, Pakistan, …
If you are like me, and you are in the last few chapters of a book you are really gobbling up, you have mixed feelings about bringing it to a conclusion. You may glance back at the former chapters, smiling at the characters, entanglements and adventures that caught your …
Belly buttons can be beautiful things. They can also become black holes. Omphaloskepsis was a word coined in the 1920s for personal reflection, or the study of one’s own belly button. I know this guy, Gus, who concentrates too much on the person he thinks he is or the …
All my life, I’ve been known as the unhandy man. My reputation was etched into the memories of friends and family many years ago. It happened when a seldom-used toilet kept running. I inspected the back tank and discovered when I pulled up on the little black bobber, the …
When you reach a certain age, the chair you sit in counts. My favorite chair, Otto, is in the TV room. It’s green and cushy. Otto rocks back a bit, and a foot rest automatically appears. But let’s be clear – it’s not a La-Z-Boy. I promised Sherry I’d never get one of those. …
If you went to high school or college in the 1960s, you were probably stuck reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau. He hung out around this little pond in Massachusetts and wrote about how man was being harmed by mixing with society and its institutions. I didn’t like Henry …
I’m angry. I’ve had it with these plastic wrappings that protect purchases. I can see what’s in the package, but even Godzilla cannot get to the contents. A kind and sympathetic reader sent me an expensive hair removal kit after reading my recent post about a huge hair …