When a close friend treats me in a lousy fashion (in my opinion), I try to figure out what I did to tick them off.
I can go through all kinds of suppositions. It’s not a pretty scene inside my sensitive brain. There’s a lot of silly putty being stirred around.
The answer is often simple. It’s not all about me. Eighty percent of the time, I had no role in how my friend or family member is acting. After all, a huge part of their day has nothing to do with me. Let them play it out without getting my nose out of joint. One of my former bosses, Rueben, always told me in times of confusion or crisis, “Don, put your big pants on.” In Rueben’s special way, he was telling me to toughen up and not to take everything so personally.
For me, it’s all about progress, not perfection. Just yesterday, I caught my wife rewashing the perfectly clean plates and glasses I had just put in the cupboard. My first inclination was to confront Sherry and let her know her fastidiousness made me feel unappreciated.
But no. I rewired my thinking and said only to myself, “Sherry, it’s too bad you’re having such a crappy day.”
How I handle bad days