I’m starting a new company, and I’m looking for a few wealthy investors.
It’s called The Old Man Jeans Corporation.
I’ve never been one to try on clothes before I buy them. It’s just not me – slipping into one of those tiny, well-lit cubicles, closing the thick purple curtain and taking off my pants – all to put on another pair of pants.
The problem is, I go home with clothes which, under closer inspection, I will never wear. Particularly jeans. I’m a 34/32. That’s all I should need to know. However, what I get are jeans that belt four inches below my belly button. Or jeans that get slimmer and slimmer as they move toward my ankles. Or jeans that are faded and have holes in them. Or jeans that, at the fly, have big, clumsy buttons rather than a zipper. Or jeans that have pockets I can’t even put my hands in.
The Old Man Jeans Corporation will solve all of these issues. We will manufacture only one design. You can grab a pair of jeans in your size, go immediately to the checkout counter and head home with confidence.
And the pockets will be big enough to hold our monumental profits.