It’s been a difficult challenge, but I think I’ve finally succeeded. I’ve always dreamed of being the best at something – anything.
My sporting efforts came up short at a very young age. I could not run fast. Jumping was certainly not my special talent. Also, I’d rather play than compete.
Being the best in some academic pursuit? I didn’t stand a chance. Back in elementary school, I was the perfect example of average.
My search has continued all these years. Doesn’t everyone want to be the best at something?
Then it came to me. I’ve ironed my own shirts since I was a boy. Sherry has me iron her blouses. I’m an expert steam and starch kind of guy. I compare my shirts to the wrinkled attire of friends and colleagues. Yes, I believe I’m the best shirt ironer in all the west.
If you wish to challenge this claim, please send an undoctored photo of your best ironed shirt. I have been chosen as the official judge of this contest. The winner will receive the Maytag M400 Speed Heat Iron I have been admiring at Walmart.
I’m feeling pretty confident and proud of myself.